A pirate off the coast of England spies a merchant ship in the distance.  “First mate,” he bellowed, “fetch me my red shirt!”  After slipping out of his full-sleeved white shirt into the red shirt, he issued the order to attack.

Following the successful battle, the first mate timidly enquired, “Captain, sir, why did you want your red shirt for the battle?”

“Because I knew we would need to fight hand to hand to win our battle, and if I was wounded in the battle, and blood stained my white shirt, the men would lose the heart to fight.”

Later that week, the timid mate ran to the Captain.  “Captain, sir, we see three British Man-o-War ships veering down upon us!  What are we to do?”

“First mate,” he replied calmly, “fetch me my brown pants.”

~ contributed by David Balaban MD, Charloottesville VA

Tags: captain, jokes, pirate